My Most Controversial Travel Opinion: Cruises Are Heaven
How I turned from skeptic to superfan, plus answers to your biggest cruising questions
There was a time when I’d hear the word "cruise" and instantly picture a beer-bellied man in knee-high socks, khaki cargo shorts, baseball cap, fanny pack, camera swinging from his neck, his eyes scanning for the next free margarita as he swatted at two screaming children, trailed by a bored, sunburnt wife.
In short: the uncool tourist with no desire to truly see the world. If you’d asked me to describe a cruise-goer in one word, I would’ve said “lazy.” Too harsh? Indeed, as I would soon discover.
The thought of stepping on a cruise ship once struck fear into my heart. It was, in my mind, a deeply unappealing way to travel.
I’ll admit… it’s painfully hard for me to admit I’m wrong in any situation. But if I must eat my own hat, I might as well do it while sipping champagne and ordering another tray of caviar to my room, passing the rocky hills of a Grecian coastline (yes, that was day two on board).
Alright, maybe admitting I’m wrong isn’t so hard after all.
And, dear reader, I was wrong. Deeply, deliciously wrong about cruises. Steady yourself; you might just find yourself researching itineraries by the end of this.
How did I end up on a cruise in the first place?
Years ago, I was invited to board the Seabourn Odyssey, sailing from Athens to Italy, to write a travel review. Full disclosure: I warned them my review would be brutally honest. They accepted without hesitation.
On the website, I found unexpected elegance. The food was by Thomas Keller—yes, that Thomas Keller of French Laundry fame, a man that currently holds seven Michelin stars for his restaurants around the globe.
Then came the suites: only 225 on board, hosting just 450 guests. Each room was meticulously designed (though the photos hardly did them justice), and the staff promised a dreamlike stay.
So, I said yes. I packed my bag, hoped for good weather, and flew to Athens ready for anything.
I must add one key detail: I was allowed to bring a plus one. When I mentioned it to my mother, she immediately said, “I’ll fly over and join you.” No arm-twisting required.
Mom and I had done dozens of road trips, but a cruise was a first for us both.
From the moment we stepped onto the red carpet—yes, vacuumed to perfection—I knew this would be special. Our luggage was whisked away as we glided up to the seventh floor. On Seabourn, guests are expected to exert zero effort; your pleasure is their mission.
When we entered our suite, my jaw dropped. A bottle of fine champagne on ice, fresh fruit, a veranda waiting to be opened. We popped the cork and took it all in.
Then came the walk-in closet, which we barely filled. For the first time ever, I hadn’t packed nearly enough. And here’s the genius of cruising: you unpack once and wake up in a new city every day, your closet traveling with you. I had never imagined such a luxury.
Our first morning was miraculous. We discovered the best way to sleep was with the veranda doors wide open, waves crashing below, sea air and sunlight waking us gently. That first dawn, we opened our eyes to a postcard-perfect view of Monemvasia. This became my favourite part of cruising: waking up to a new, breathtaking scene each day.
Breakfast arrived to our room on a white tablecloth, delivered by a gracious steward who urged us to dine on the veranda and savour the view.
We explored the village early, then returned to enjoy the ship's pleasures in the afternoon. Most days followed this rhythm: morning excursions ashore, afternoons indulging on board. Some outings lasted hours, others an entire day. We often wandered towns alone, returning at our leisure. Tenders ran constantly, and we never felt rushed—a true luxury.
Back to the idea of being on the ship for a second, as I really think this is quite important.
I assumed I’d want to be off the ship as much as possible. In reality, the opposite was true. The pool felt heavenly and somehow always half empty. That’s the magic of the Seabourn Odyssey: even with 450 passengers, you never feel crowded or rushed.
The pool always felt private, loungers free and waiting. There was never a scramble for space; the pace was exactly as a holiday should be—unhurried. For guests, at least. The staff worked at warp speed, all while appearing effortlessly calm.
We ordered strawberry margaritas on the first day, our first five minutes by the pool, and they arrived ten minutes later. We were never allowed to do as much as set up our towels without being asked if we’d like assistance. Now, this might sound invasive but I assure you it was anything but. The crew on board seem to specialize in knowing what you want before you do. While they always seem to be only a wave away, they are never overbearing. It’s a perfect rhythm, that has no doubt taking years of practice to perfect.
Over the course of the next six days we swung our hips to traditional Greek music on a small olive farm, we swam off the island of Skorpios (once inhabited and made famous by Jackie O), we explored the beauty of Corfu, walked the famed streets of Dubrovnik and got lost in the tiny sea village of Primošten.
Never before has seven days disappeared so quickly. On day five I began to understand why so many of the couples and families we met on board had booked in for 21 day adventures. Seven days is simply not enough.
That all being said, I don’t know how I would have lasted 21 days eating the way I was. Whenever I mentioned to someone that I was going on a cruise, the first words out their mouths had to do with food. Everyone seemed to think that one had to be rolled off a cruise ship at the end of the week, and everyone was right. While even the most substandard cruises seem to drive people to eat an excessive amount of food, Seabourn takes things to another level. Have I mentioned that you can get champagne and caviar delivered anytime, anywhere on board?
Have I mentioned the room service menu? The four restaurants featuring dishes by a Michelin-star chef? The drinks service, seemingly endless and available on any deck? There’s even a coffee bar for those craving their local café ritual.
That’s where you’d find me each morning, catching up on work over a latte, with a new, breathtaking view at every sunrise. My dream desk—I wish I were writing from it now.
A look at a selection of the food on board:
I could write a whole book about this experience. Maybe it’s time to become an official cruiser. The only problem? I started at the top with the true luxury standard in cruising. How do you follow that?
One thing is certain, this won’t be my last time on board. I’ve already struck a deal with the devil (my American Express) to make this kind of trip happen again, with the people I love, as often as I can.
I’ve never felt more spoiled, more at ease, or more thrilled with how I chose to spend a week of my life. Don’t let old preconceptions stop you. Seabourn is worth it, and the destinations are unmatched.
Below the paywall I answer my most FAQ about cruises, including:
“Was it all older people on board?”
“Will I feel claustrophobic?”
“Is the entertainment cheesy?”
“How do you deal without cell service?”
“Was it worth the money?”